Apparently I'm too arrogant for my own good. Or something. It's not
something I understand, and that's why I'm writing this.
I write posts that, if received, I would read, nod, say "okay" and not
get angry about. At least the vast majority of the time. I can think of
maybe three instances where I've written an email or forum posting that
I've looked back on and thought "I shouldn't have done that." But I get
a very negative response, it seems more and more constantly.
It's becoming somewhat clear to me that I'm not able to relate with
normal people in a reasonable way. I lack the basic understanding of how
people will read "tone" in things I type, where for me they're written
word and should be read based on the specific meanings rather than
anything implied. The latter method seems to depend too much on the
emotions and even specific mood a time of reading of the user.
To everyone I've upset. I'm sorry. It's not my intention. I know you
don't believe this, and at this point I know there's nothing I can
really say that will make you believe this. It's that whole "emotional
context" thing that I don't really get. I can't say I'm sorry for my
behaviour, since I don't understand why it upsets people. This is
something I'll work on. I'm genuinely sorry that I have upset you
though, for whatever reason.
So I'm taking a break from active Rockbox participation. I'm resigning
from forum administration. I won't be posting on these mailing lists
unless it's a matter I think is extremely important, since my sincere
efforts to investigate ways to improve Rockbox seem to just backfire.
Since I'm resigning from the steering board too, congratulations to Thom
Johansen who, I guess very briefly, was the first backup if I understand
I'll still be in IRC though there, like everywhere else, I'll be trying
to keep my mouth shut as much as possible.
Once I understand whatever it is I don't understand right now (I can
hardly say what it is, since if I knew it probably wouldn't be the
apparent problem that it is) I'll try to be more active. But since I'm
basically kicking myself back down to "simple user" status it means
other people can decide whether I'm going to present a negative face to
the project, rather than them currently being in the rather unenviable
position of probably having to decide if the negative face I'm
presenting is bad enough for them to have to strip from me the various
positions I seem to have stumbled into.
I can't promise I'll be silent. I am after all human. But I can promise
that if something does inspire me to speak up, you're just arguing with
another annoying user now and not someone who some people, apparently,
may see as one of the "public faces" of Rockbox. I'm no longer a member
of the project, and am now just a user like everyone else.
Received on 2009-06-20