The mainframe needs to rest.  It's getting old, you know.
I'm not sure.  Try calling the Internet's head office -- it's in the book.
Having to manually track the satellite.
Mail server hit by UniSpammer.
We are Microsoft.  What you are experiencing is not a problem; it is an undocumented feature.
Sysadmins unavailable because they are in a meeting talking about why they are unavailable so much.