From: Fred Maxwell <rockbox_at_anti-spam.org>
Date: Sat, 29 Nov 2003 12:45:40 -0500

WARNING: This e-mail is in HTML as it contain font and formatting
information for use in the manual as well as font properties
(boldface/italics) to make changes clearer. I have no intention of getting
into a flame war about the virtues of HTML vs. plaintext. If you want to
tell me that you wish I would die of cancer, be hit by a bus, rot in hell,
etc. because I sent HTML e-mail please do so off-list.
 
Peter,

Let me state up-front that I really appreciate all of the work that you have
invested in the manual. Having worked as a writer/editor, I'm a picky
bastard and I'll probably point out things that others would have let slide.
Conversely, I may repeat something others have pointed out already. Don't
let the number of comments get you down.
Notes:

* In the comments, I used bold-italics to highlight additional text to
be added or single words to be changed as it is so easy to miss seeing a
single word or two.
* I use the phrase "should be" a lot. Please read that as "I believe
that the text would be better if it were as follows."

Here goes:

General comments:

File names should be in a different font than text. Example:

"If you want to save your old firmware version, change its name to something
like oldarchos.mod or old-archos.ajz first."
 
The "WHAT'S NEW SINCE 2.0?" section should be an appendix rather than one of
the first things shown. Many users may never have even run 2.0 and will be
more interested in what 2.1 does rather than what it adds to 2.0.

Page 6:
"Radio support (FM only)" could be misinterpreted to mean "No AM radio
support." Suggest changing to "Radio support (Archos FM Recorder only)"

Page 7:
The proper spelling of the game name is "Othello" with two letter Ls.

Page 9:
"Flavours" is British English spelling. "Flavors" is US English spelling.
If you're going for the former, fine. If you're aiming it at US English,
the latter is correct.

"Current version (2.1) is the latest stable version developed by Rockbox
Team" should be "Current version (2.1 as of this writing) is the latest
stable version developed by Rockbox Team"

"FM-Recorder" should not be hyphenated.
 
"If you want to save your old firmware version, change its name to something
like oldarchos.mod or old-archos.ajz first." This assumes that the user has
old firmware stored as a file. My Studio 10 had no firmware file. Only
what was burned into the flash.
 
"it loads Archos firmware on ROM" should be "it loads the Archos firmware in
ROM"
 
"root folder for a archos.mod (on the player version) or ajbrec.ajz (on the
recorder version)." should be "root folder for a file named archos.mod (on
the player version) or ajbrec.ajz (on the recorder version)."

"Note that Archos firmware can only read the 10 first characters of each
file name in this process, so don't rename your firmware files like
archos.mod.old and so on, because it's possible that the Archos will load
another file than you intended." should be "Note that Archos firmware can
only read the first ten characters of each file name in this process, so
don't rename your old firmware files with names like archos.mod.old and so
on, because it's possible that the Archos will load a file other than the
one you intended."
 
Page 10:
"that the windows explorer" should be "that Windows Explorer" and there may
need to be some kind of trademark notice since Microsoft owns that name.
 
Page 12:
"Flashing Rockbox is optional!" should be boldfaced ("Flashing Rockbox is
optional!").
 
"in circuit" should be hyphenated ("in-circuit")
 
"By reprogramming the firmware your" should have a comma between "firmware"
and "your" ("By reprogramming the firmware, your").
 
"The second is the default one to be started, the first is only used when
you hold the F1 key during start." My Studio 10 doesn't have an F1 key.
;-) Check this elsewhere in the manual.
 
I wish I had time for more right now, but that's as far as I've gotten. If
you want me to help with the actual editing of the document or any portions
thereof, please let me know and let me know where to get the source file.
 
Regards,
  Fred Maxwell
 
Received on 2003-11-29