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Subject: Re: apology

Re: apology

From: Paul Louden <>
Date: Sat, 20 Jun 2009 12:25:50 -0500

As I said, this is part of my problem. From my perspective, it's lying
if you join a list, claiming to agree to its guidelines, and then
disregard them. I'm unable to understand why people think it's
acceptable behaviour to lie about their agreement, or to complain about
such guidelines when they're notified that they overlooked their
existence. My own response would simply be "Oh, I wasn't aware that sort
of behaviour was required here. I'll do that from now on."

This sharp difference in how I see the world, and would react to such
things, and how so many other people do resonates through a significant
portion of the interactions on this list.

The same more or less applies to the manual. This list isn't for
reiterating the manual, it was all documented in one place for a reason.
It's a support list. The fact that you decided that's what it should be
for doesn't actually change what the list was intended for by the people
who created it. I'm completely unable to understand why "I don't want to
read the manual, and shouldn't have to" is an excuse as to why you
should be allowed to disregard the list guidelines.

These sorts of things - the fact that I feel obligated to actually
respect guidelines I agree to and cannot relate emotionally to the
emotions that cause people to get indignant when they're told they've
done something wrong (and yes, I understand they may not think they
have, but it's not their list so it's really not their decision what
wrong and right are within the limited bounds of someone else's list) is
why I'm stepping back.

Until I'm in a similar emotional place to everyone else, and logical
explanations really aren't going to get me there, the only things that
would have continued to happen is me being honestly surprised every time
someone ignored the guidelines, or got upset at the person who told them
when they found out they were doing so.
Received on 2009-06-20

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